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​​Food Anxiety: How I Stopped Letting Food Control My Thoughts

To understand food anxiety, let’s first define what I mean by anxiety. There’s clinical anxiety — the DSM-V, diagnosable kind — and then there’s everyday anxiety, the thoughts and worries that visit us regularly.


And thanks to social media, the lines between the two have gotten blurry.

What I’m talking about today are the everyday anxious thoughts — the weary mental chatter, the overconcerned relationship with upcoming meals or post-meal regret, the fear of overdoing it on sweets or processed foods, the overthinking, or even the avoidance of making food decisions altogether.


I’ve had a long-standing journey with food anxiety since my early twenties — and I’m 38 now. I didn’t realize that’s what it was until recently.


At first, it looked like obsessing over macros because I wanted a “beach body.”


Then it became restricting sweets because “I couldn’t trust myself” — only to end up having late-night visits to my secret chocolate stash or hosting a pretzel-and-Nutella dipping party for one.


Later, it disguised itself as “intuitive eating,” but really, I was avoiding tracking my macros because I didn’t want to face the truth about what I was eating.

Then came the “snack lunch” phase — nuts, cheese, crackers — followed by overeating at dinner and feeling terrible, knowing I wasn’t going to lose my gut that way.


I tried fasting past breakfast, felt miserable, then punished myself by skipping dinner because I had been “bad” at lunch.


Eventually, I woke up and said, enough is enough.


Two girls hugging and empathizing


Why This Matters


One of my life goals is to be playful and energized for my future grandkids. I want to be able to keep up with them (safely assuming I get that privilege). And I know that kind of longevity starts now.


Nutrition is one of the three pillars that make that happen — along with sleep and movement.


So, I had to take an honest look at my relationship with food and name what was really happening: food anxiety.


And with the holidays coming up, I know some of you reading this might be facing it too.



My Top 3 Strategies to Overcome Food Anxiety


1. I Stopped Moralizing Food


There’s no morality in food.No “good” or “bad.” It’s just food.


When you stop moralizing food, you remove the shame and guilt that feed food anxiety.


Are certain choices more optimal for your body? Of course. But if anxiety is running the show, start by removing moral judgment. That’s how healing your relationship with food begins.



2. I Started Assessing My Hunger


The next big shift: I stopped eating my feelings and started eating when I was actually hungry. Revolutionary, right?


We eat for so many reasons — boredom, sadness, celebration, idleness, and, yes… anxiety.


So, I started planning my meals in advance — using the executive part of my brain before emotions got involved. I’d decide what I was eating the night before or in the morning, so I wasn’t making emotional decisions later.

Some people might call this “extra,” but if nothing changes, nothing changes.



3. I Tracked for Understanding, Not Restriction


I began tracking my macronutrients not to restrict myself, but to understand what I was actually eating.


It wasn’t about control — it was about awareness.


Tracking helped me see the nutritional balance (or imbalance) in my meals and notice how certain foods affected my energy, mood, and focus.


It also reminded me to bring more vegetables to every meal instead of obsessing over protein alone.


The Bottom Line

In a noisy world, it’s easy to numb out with food and create a cycle of anxiety and avoidance.


But your relationship with food doesn’t have to feel like a battle.


If you recognize yourself in this, reach out for a judgment-free consultation at Route to Respite. Together, we can help you build a calmer, healthier, and more sustainable relationship with food. Email routetorespite@gmail.com today or fill out the form below.



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